My ideas for the justice league movie

My ideas for the Justice League movie

 

I still think that this is the wrong movie at the wrong time. If Warner Brothers are serious about making a Justice League movie, they need to make this movie as different from the Avengers as possible, I mean don't have this team come together to stop an alien invasion. People are going to compare this to the Avengers anyway so that shouldn't really bother you. I don't like the idea of having Darksied as the main villain in the movie, because that's like having Thanos in the first Avengers movie. 

Plus, it's too soon, there are going to compare this to Avengers 2. The members I want in the Justice League movie are the same members in the Justice League cartoon, I'm going to explain why later. As far as setting up the Justice League movie goes do a mini team-up between Wonder Woman, Superman and Batman. We know who these three are so why not do a movie of them as a team? Then again, I think Wonder Woman should get her own movie because not much was done with her but that's a topic for another time. 

Also, do another mini team-up movie between Green Lantern and the Flash, because the Flash doesn't need a whole movie to tell his origin he got his powers from a lad accident that's it. Didn't he get his own show years ago? With the Green Lantern movie, we should know his back story by now, if they want to tell their origin story then do it in the opening credits. Also, these two team up in the comics called the Brave and the Bold. You can have Green Arrow join them in the mix for world-building. I'm not sure about Hawkgirl and Martin Manhunter having their own movie because I don't think they can carry their own film. I'll get back to these two later. See seven characters in three or four movies. Heck, you can adapt the JLA year one comic because that comic doesn't have the Trinity or the World's finest. Doing that would help give characters that the general public is not familiar with attention. X-Men First Class proves that it can work. 

The reason why I want Hawkgirl in the Justice League is obvious, so Wonder Woman isn’t the only female member on the team. Why I want this group in the Justice League movie is because it diverse and I like how they interact with each other in the cartoon. No! The movie doesn't have to be exactly like the cartoon heck I wouldn't mind Cyborg in the mix. That’s another reason why I want Green Lantern to team up with The Flash, because I like their interaction when they work together in the cartoon. I hope they pick the Wally West Flash because the group needs someone with personality. Plus, he was an underrated character in that cartoon because he was the heart of the team. 

We should have Brainiac as the villain for the Justice League movie, so Warner Brothers won’t have to do a Hawkgirl and a Martin Manhunter movie. We get their backstory in the Justice League movie. For those of you who don’t know Brainiac is one of Superman’s villains he is obsessed with knowledge, when he is done collecting knowledge of a plant or person, he destroys it. The general public would look foolish saying this movie is too centered on Superman because they fight each other's villains. 

You can have this team come together to stop Brainiac from threatening their worlds is one way of getting these characters together. The Justice League movie can introduce Martin Manhunter by having Brainiac wipe out the Martians or kidnap John Jones/ Martian Manhunter’s family to study the Martins. He goes on a manhunt to find him, meanwhile, he runs into Hawkgirl who is investigating the incident because she was a victim of Brainiac. So, they both go to Earth to find Brainiac. So, what do you think how do you think they should set up the Justice League movie?   

 

My review of the land before time

My review of the land before time 

 

Intro: Screw Jurassic Park this is a Dinosaur movie! 

JP fans: Boo! Boo! Booooooooooooo!!!!!!! And start throwing things at me. 

Me: Hey! Hey! I didn't say that movie was bad. 

The Land Before Time: This movie is centered on a plant-eater name Littlefoot who's looking for a new piece of land to live on with her family called the Great Valley. That becomes difficult for her when an earthquake separates her from her family and she's being chased by A T Rex known as Sharptooth. On her journey, she meets other dinosaurs who are also separated from their parents so they have to stick together to survive and reach the great valley. 

This is one of the best underdog stories I've seen! I'm surprised at how violent this movie is and the subject matter it deals with because of the G rating. The movie balances the serious moments with funny ones well. The themes of this movie are child empowerment and segregation vs unity. The movie also deals with grief. I like the names the dinosaurs call themselves because they describe how they look. The animation holds up well and the music complements the scenes in the movie. The characters in this movie are likable.    

Lightfoot is the de facto leader of the bunch who's playful, adventurous and protective.  

Sarah is independent and stubborn. Those traits get her and the others into trouble in this movie.      

Ducky is joyful. 

Petrie is suppose to be the comic relief of the movie however he comes off as someone who had too much sugar.   

Spike is a wasted character because he doesn't talk. All he does is stuff his face.  

One of the problems I have with this movie is the narrator gives away too much information about what's going on in the movie. The animation and editing are inconsistent. The movie handicaps itself with its G-rating, plus suffers from plot holes. It also rips off a scene from a Disney movie. All in all this movie stood the test of time. (No pun intended.) It's a shame that we haven't got another movie like this and don't get me started on the sequels. I would recommend this if you want to watch a film that both children and adults could enjoy. 

Rating = Rental 

Arrow Season one review

Arrow Season One Review

Intro: I knew that the show’s title would create confusion for people; they thought that this show was a different take on Robin Hood. For those of you who don't know, this show is based on a comic book character name Green Arrow. I was surprised and a little disappointed that this show isn't a spin-off of the Green Arrow in the TV show Smallville. What's the point of creating a new show to establish a character that's already established? A lot is riding on this series; besides Batman, DC is having a hard time making their characters successful outside the comics. 

Here are some examples

The last three Superman movies are bad, if you ask me.

Despite Smallville lasting ten seasons, I wasn't crazy about this series, due to the soap opera direction and lack of action. ( I know it wasn't always like that; however, those things affect my enjoyment of the show.)

None of the Superman video games are good, especially Superman 64. How that game got made is beyond me. Heck, most of the games that are based on other DC characters aren't decent.

Birds of Prey got canceled because of low ratings. It lasted one season with 13 episodes.

The Green Lantern movie wasn't successful financially or critically. There was a Green Lantern animated series that I liked, but it got canceled due to low toy sales.

There was suppose to be a Wonder Woman TV show two years ago. If you saw the unaired pilot, then you understand why it was canceled.

Now that I've got the history lesson out of the way, let's see if this series hit its mark.

Arrow: This show is centered on Oliver Queen/The Hood, who was shipwrecked on an island for five years. After he gets rescued, he goes on a crusade to clean his city of crime with the help of a hit list from his deceased father. That becomes difficult when another archer gets in his way and learns about a conspiracy that will ruin his city. So Oliver has to figure out what it is before it's too late. 

This show made me mad! No! I didn’t think it was bad, but that's the reason why I’m mad. Why wasn’t Green Arrow popular or a well-known figure to the general public like Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman? I mean, it seems like people want heroes they can relate to, that’s what made Batman popular. Also, why didn’t this character get his own show ten years ago instead of Birds of Prey?

The themes of this series are family and redemption; almost everyone in this series has done something they want to redeem themselves for, or is dealing with family drama. The pilot episode was OK; however, the writers tried to establish a lot in the pilot. At first, I thought this show was going to be routine. I mean, each episode is going to be about Oliver going after someone from his list. That wasn’t the case after I saw episode 5, which is one of my favorite episodes of this season; that episode got me into this show. The changes the creators made from the comics didn't bother me that much. In fact, if this were the New 52 Green Arrow, I would read it. What stood out to me about this series is the fight scenes; they made the action scenes in other shows look fake compared to this. 

People compare this show to Mr. Nolan’s Batman movies and the TV show Lost. To be fair, there are some scenes and lines from those films being put in this series. Also, there are some similarities between Batman and Green Arrow, plus there are other Batman references besides Mr. Nolan’s films. The reason why this show is compared to Lost is because this show has flashbacks on Lian Yu. ( That's the name of the island he was on.) This is the best part of the show for me because some of the events on the island tie in with an episode. Also, I enjoy seeing how Oliver slowly goes from a typical spoiled rich kid to what he is now with the help of allies. The flashbacks are about Oliver getting caught in the middle of the soldier's search for a man name Yao Fei. I wish the mystery of who can Oliver trust was handled better. 

Oliver Queen/The Hood has matured into a responsible and cunning man who still maintains his Playboy image. When he's the hood he's a surrogate Batman. I have mixed feelings about him killing people. On one hand, he talks about justice; you can't do that if you're committing mass murder and working with the bratva. If he's going to continue to work with the Detective in this series, that needs to get fixed. On the other hand, I like that he doesn't pull his punches. Law Enforcement doesn't do that, why should you? (Plus, he reminds me of the Punisher.) 

I don't like Oliver's mom, Moira Queen, because she's shady. You'll see what I mean when you watch the show. 

Thea Queen (Oliver's sister) is a troubled girl; it's understandable why she's like that because she's having a hard time dealing with the death of her father and brother at the time. She could have been sympathetic if she wasn't so impulsive and testy. 

Laurel Lance is a good-hearted lawyer who fights for the little people. She suppose to be a strong female character, but she ends up being a damsel in distress. Fans may or may not be happy with her history with Oliver.   

Tommy Merlyn is Oliver's best friend. We think he's the usual goofball best friend. Later on, we see that there's more to him than that. 

John Diggle is Oliver's bodyguard and his voice of reason. He also aided Oliver on his crusade. What bugs me about him is that we learn that he's not so noble; this is an issue because it makes him look like a hypocrite.  

Felicity Smoak is the comic relief who works at Queen's Consolidated. ( Queens Consolidated is the Queen's family business.) She assists Oliver on his crusade by providing tech support. The reason why she's helping Oliver is lame. Despite not being on board with Oliver's body count, she sees that he's doing some good.   

Det. Lance (Laurel's father) is a by-the-book Cop who develops an uneasy alliance with the Hood. He also resents Oliver for what he's done to his family.  

Malcolm Merlyn (Tommy's father) is a calculating and ruthless businessman. We learn that something tragic happened in his past that caused him to be like this. Despite that, he's pleasant to be around in public. The only complaint I have with him is that he did something that created tension between him and Tommy. I understand why Malcolm did that; however, this is something he should have done sooner.     

Roy Harper confuses me. I mean, we see that he wants to do the right thing, but he gets himself into trouble. I wonder what his upbringing was like. 

Slade Wilson (Oliver's mentor) is a charismatic, tough guy. Despite that, he does have a bleeding heart.  

The Dark Archer (The main villain) is OK, he poses as a physical threat, and he parallels with the Hood. The problem I have with him is that he didn't become interesting until towards the end of the season. Plus, we barely see him. Also, his suit makes him look fat. 

The gripes I have with this show are the inconsistencies with the characters and what was established in previous episodes. Something happened in episode 21 that undermines the father-son story that this show had, plus opened up a can of plot holes around the main villain's plan and Oliver's hit list. Speaking of the Father and Son story, it's hard to appreciate it when we don't know what Oliver's relationship with his father was like before he died. The conflict in this season wouldn't exist if characters stood up for themselves.

I don't like the love triangle towards the end of the season because it makes the characters involved look bad. I have an issue with characters calling Oliver's alter ego a whole bunch of names like Robin Hood, the Archer, the Vigilante, the Hood Guy, the Hood, Green Hood, Green Goblin, and Green Ranger. I understand why he isn’t called Green Arrow yet, but give him one name and stick with it. I’m glad that this was addressed in one episode.

The bottom line is this is a good show that I would recommend this to both fans and non-fans alike. I’m surprised that this show is going to get a second season because things happened in this season that I thought were going to happen later on, plus it wouldn't have gotten a second season if this series were on any other network. The real question is, how long will this show last?   

My Iron Man 3 review

My Iron Man 3 review 

Intro: After my disappointment with the dark knight rises I don’t want to see this movie under principles. It seems like making a good third movie is an impossible task for Hollywood. Don't believe me name five good third movies. The trailers sucker me in and after seeing how successful The Avengers was I decide to give this movie a change. Besides Marvel has a good thing going and they can’t afford to screw that up. With all that said do we finally get a good third superhero movie or is this as bad as the rest? Let's find out... 

Iron Man 3: This film is center on Tony Stark/ Iron Man dealing with the aftermath of the Avengers. The alien invasion affects Tony in more ways than one and he has to find a way to cope with it. Meanwhile a new villain called the mandarin is creating chaos and someone close to Tony is hurt because of him, so Iron Man has to stop him before things get out of hand. 

I have mixed feels about this movie, I don't think it's bad however there are things about it that kept it from being better. This did what a lot of third movies do that is borrowing elements from the first movie. I appreciate that this movie has no setup for anything, however I wish S.H.E.I.L.D was mentioned. I do like the plot twist on some level, I mean the movie was making a social commentary on judging book by its cover and how we view people committing evil acts. However I wish it had pay off.  

Tony/Iron man is kind of a mess in this movie, he has to figure out does the suit make the man or does the man make the suit? Not only does he have to deal with his baggage he also has to face a demon from his past. My gripe with this character is he did some stupid things in this movie, also his Iron man suit is kind of weak. Plus I don't buy how the alien invasion affects him considering what he went though in the past. I would prefer that the movie builds up to him having this problem.     

Pepper Potts is not as useful as she was in the first film however she's not as annoying as the last film. My one complain with her is she stole Tony's thunder in one scene. 

Once again Rhodey Rhodes/ Iron Patriot doesn't do much in this movie. Seriously what's the point of having him in these movies if he doesn't amount to anything? Also I don't like the reason why he's called Iron Patriot. 

There isn't much to say about Maya Henson, because she's under develop and barely in the movie. 

Aldrich Killian is basically Edward Nygma from Batman Forever. 

Iron man fans are not going to be happy with what this movie has done with the mandarin. It's hard to consider him a character because we don't know much about him, he mostly gives speeches. This movie would have been better if he was like his comic book counterpart. 

The trailers really hurt this movie for me because I'm sick of false advertisement. What's the point of giving us the idea that this movie will be dark if it's not like that most of the time? Once again the comedy is an issue with this movie, it wasn’t bad however there was just too much of it. Marvel Studios why didn't you advertise this movie as a comedy? Why does this movie have a Christmas theme if that theme serves no purpose in this movie? 

Also I wish the writers would do more with the extremis story. The last fight was repetitive, I mean it was like watching someone playing Street Fighter and he or she keeps losing to the AI. The movie didn't do the best job with everything the writers tried to do with Tony. If you look at this as a film you might enjoy it more however it doesn't fix the problems with it. Sadly Iron man 3 is not good enough to break the bad third movie curse.  

Rating = Rental

My review of the Jurassic Park Trilogy

My review of the Jurassic Park Trilogy

  

Intro: You know for a movie that has Jurassic in the title it doesn't have a lot of Dinosaurs from that era. 

Jurassic Park: The movie is centered on a man named John Hammond who wants to open a dinosaur theme park on an island called Isla Nublar, in order to do that he needs the approval of a small group of people. Once they get an idea of how this park works something goes wrong, the dinosaurs are on the loose and people are separated. So, they have to secure the park before things get out of hand.   

This is one of the best sci-fi films that features Dinosaurs. This movie came out at the right time because the 90's was the decade for Dinosaurs, I mean we had so many shows that features Dinosaurs like Power Rangers, Land of the lost, Jim Henson's Dinosaurs and a show with a purple dinosaur. The CGI and practical effects were good enough at the time to make us believe we were seeing real dinosaurs on screen. Plus, they're being betrayed as real animals, not just man-eating monsters. I'm fond of the scientific explanation we get for how the dinosaurs are created because cloning has been talked about for over ten years. I like how smart the Velociraptors are because it makes them more dangerous than they are. The movie serves as a cautionary tale about playing GOD with nature and genetic power. There is also an underline theme of parenting in the movie. I appreciate that characters are talking about whether or not we should bring Dinosaurs to the 21th century? There's a lot to consider with Dinosaurs, like can they thrive in our Ecosystem and are we ready to be exposed to them? The movie also can be fun and scary. I also love how this movie advertise itself.      

John Hammond is the CEO of InGen the company the create these Dinosaurs. He's a kind man who got carried away with what he's doing that he didn't consider the downside of bring Dinosaur back to the 21th century. I wish he was like his Novel counterpart because that will add some conflict in the movie.  

Dr. Ian Malcolm is a mathematician who specialize in chaos theory. He's not only the comic relief but the voice or reason. 

Alan Grant is a Paleontologist who's against evolving. I mean he doesn't like to use technology and doesn't like kids for understandable reasons. I wish this character wasn't underdeveloped. 

Ellie Sattler is a Paleobotanist who's a tomboy with a sense of humor. I'm confused as to wither or not her and Alan are a couple? I know the movie suggest that they are but I don't buy it. For example we see Alan is annoyed that Dr. Malcolm is flirting with her but she doesn't mind it.      

   
One of the problems I have with this movie is that the director seems to be more focus on showing off the Dinosaurs than adapting elements from the book. Speaking of the book there is subplot involving one of Mr. Hammond's employees and you have to read the book to understand it. Do I really have to explain why this is an issue for me? Plus he undermines Dr. Malcom's famous line life will find a way. The movie also suffers from plot holes, the CGI doesn't hold up and the movie setup a plot point that didn't get enough focus. I have mixed feeling about the kids in this movie. I'm glad that they're not completely helpless however they can be a burden. 

Overall this is one of the best Dinosaur movies which isn't saying much.  If you love Dinosaurs then I would recommend this. 

Rating = Worth seeing 



Intro: If I was the late Michael Crichton I would strange Mr. Spielberg for having me write a sequel novel to Jurassic Park. What's the point of doing that if he's not going to do the best job at adapting it? Sorry I'm getting ahead of myself.    

The Lost World: This movie takes place four years after the events in Jurassic Park, a family discovers another island inhabited by dinosaurs called Isla Sorna also known as side B. John Hammond tells Ian Malcolm about the incident so that he can send him and a team to document the dinosaurs. Meanwhile, another group try to capture the dinosaurs, but they became too much for them to handle. So the two groups have to work together to survive and get off the Island.  

 
This movie was disappointing! I don't think it's bad however it doesn't build off what the last film establish. For example, if you want to know what happened to the barbasol can then play the lasted Jurassic Park video game. (That's one of the many problems I have with the book this movie is based on, it didn't follow up on how Jurassic park ended but I digress.) 

Side B feels like something the writers made up because we saw Dinosaurs being created on Isla Nublar. I don't mind the idea of another island where the Dinosaurs can roam free however it seems like too much work to move them around like this. The movie tried to make animal rights a subject but the movie didn't do the best job at it. This film also suffers from editing, there are scenes in the movie that makes you ask how did that happen? The last act is ridiculous! Don't get me wrong I want to see that happen but not like this. Most of the characters in this movie do stupid things and the movie would have ended differently if it wasn't for the head-scratching moments in the film.   

Ian Malcolm is not as amusing as he was before because he's on edge in this movie.  

Sarah Harding is an animal behavior specialist who's adventurous. My beef with her is that she does things that put her and others in danger. Also, I don't buy that she's Ian's girlfriend because they don't have scenes of them being chummy.     

Roland Tembo is a professional hunter who shows compassion and values his men's safety. The only issue I have with him is that he made some rookie mistakes like leaving his gun around people that don't like him. 

Nick Van Owen (one of Ian Malcom's team members.) is an animal lover. What bugs me about him is that he did things that put everyone in danger. I understand why he did those things however he didn't show any remorse for the damage he cause. 

Peter Ludlow ( John Hammond's nephew.) is an idiot! I say that because of the plan he has to help InGen financially, anyone with half a brain can see that this is a bad idea. I was letdown that there was no family drama over InGen I mean is it a family business?            

I like the way this movie reference the first novel in the beginning of the film. The CGI in this movie looks better than the last film and the movie is more violent. We are introduce to new Dinosaurs that we haven't seen in the first film. You don't root for either teams because both of them have done questionable things. The movie could have been better if Biosyn (InGen's rival company.) was in the movie because it would help the conflict in the movie. All in all this is an OK movie.  

Rating = Rental  

Intro: I can't believe that this movie made a Barney reference. 

Jurassic Park 3: This movie is about parents who are looking for there son. They believe he landed on side B So they go to Dr. Alan Grant to help them find there son. Once they get on the island Surprise! Surprise! They're being chase by a new Dinosaurs called the Spinosaurus and the Velociraptors. So they have to find the boy and get off the island. 

This movie is similar to the last one but worse, really this movie could have been a direct to DVD movie or a spin-off. The movie adds nothing new to the franchise for the most part. It tried to make family a theme but it didn't do the best job at it because the theme doesn't apply to everyone. T Rex fans are not going to be happy that it got the cold shoulder in favor of the Spinosaurus. I don't mind the Spinosaurus being in the spotlight however it was done in poor taste. Also, the movie drop hints that the Spinosaurus is a hybrid but nothing comes if it. 

We finally get a Dinosaur fight and it was lame. The CGI looks bad and the comedy doesn't work either because it can ruin some serious moments. Side B must be a big island because we haven't seen the Spinosaurus or the new-looking Velociraptors in the last movie. There isn't much to say about the characters because they lack personalities and some of the acting is bad. Fans won't be happy with what this movie has done with Dr. Grant I mean he views the Dinosaurs as monsters. If he feels that way about them then why is he still working as a paleontologist? The only thing I like about this movie is how the Velociraptors are betrayed in this movie, I mean there not just hunting our main characters for the heck of it.   

This movie may be the weakest one out of the three however it's harmless, it could have been better with rewrites. I would recommend this if you like thrillers. 

Rating = Trash 

My Rant about Comedy in the media

My Rant about Comedy in the media 


 

Comedy films and TV shows are hard for me to review because it's too subjective. Plus, there are so many times where you can say that's not funny and you can't explain why something isn't funny without giving away the joke in the show or movie. If you don’t find something laughable, is it still considered comedy? If you laugh at how bad the show or movie is does that count? Also, everyone has a different perspective of what’s funny or not, for example, slapstick comedy may be hilarious to me but not to everyone else. 

I don't find cross-dressing funny because it seems like a cheap way to get people to laugh. Another thing, if you have to do that to get that reaction from people then you're in the wrong profession. (Yes, Tyler Perry I'm talking to you.) Do you know what bugs me about sitcoms it's the laugh track. I feel like I'm being manipulated into laughing at the jokes because of that. If you feel like you need to do that then you have no confidence in your jokes. The real question is how many times can a movie or TV show make you laugh in order for it to be a part of the comedy genre? I can say that Dumb and Dumber isn’t funny to me, but I can’t justify why it’s not funny to everyone else. There are comedy films that got good reviews, but I don’t find amusing like The 40-year-old virgin,

the only part I laugh at in that movie was this. 

Comparing comedy from the past to now is not the best measuring stick because what's considered funny depends on the culture of any time period. This is why I don't find a comedy movie from the 50's funny not because the jokes are outdated, it's because I wasn't born in that time period. The problem I have with R-rated comedies is nudity and sex jokes. I’m not against sex jokes I think the sex jokes in sitcoms and the Austin Powers films are funnier. It's just that there's a difference between sex jokes and describing how you want to get freaky with someone.  

Here are some examples.

Me: Let’s go to our first caller good morning.

The caller: Hi what’s your take on improvements?

Me: What do you mean?

The caller: I mean if a man wants to attract the ladies, he has to improve himself by enlarging his Bank account, his muscles and his package.

Me: OK next caller good morning.

Caller 2: Good morning how are you?

Me: Fine go head.

Caller 2: I just want to say that I’m glad this war is coming to an end. I mean we keep getting held over and held over. We haven’t seen our family in years. I don’t remember what my wife looks like when she gets mad at me for not lasting long enough for a quickie.

Me: Oh, come on! People this is a family radio show, keep the conversation family-friendly please and thank you! Let’s go to our next caller good afternoon.

Caller 3: Good afternoon. I hope this doesn’t bother you, but I’ve been wondering if you're into Dominatrix?

Me: Alright! That’s it I need a break! I need a freaking break!

The purpose of comedy is to make light of our issues, bad situations and make fun of ourselves. In order for the jokes to work there has to be victims. Don't believe me name a comedian that doesn't joke about himself, herself or anyone. I view comedy the same way I view technology, both of them can lose their novelty over time. How many people still use walkman or CDs after the I pad was invented? Name a comedy show or movie that stood the test of time?  

However, just like free speech, there should be limits when it comes to comedy because you're expressing how you feel about something through comedy. I noticed a contradiction with comedy, for example, people have gripes with being the butt of the joke. They also don't like it when someone jokes about races, religion, politics etc. May I ask why it's not OK to joke about those things? Just because someone jokes about those topics it doesn't mean they're attacking those things. Even if they are so what? Do you think it's reasonable to not expect anyone to comment on those things? If the answer is no, then what people have to say about those subjects shouldn't upset you. People didn't like Dane Cook joking about shooting in Aurora why? Was it because it was too soon to joke about that, are the jokes not amusing or people didn't understand the jokes? 

That's an issue with comedy some people don't get the joke because A people don't understand the topic the person is joking about. B people are not familiar with a person's style of humor. If you have dry humor and people don't understand it, you won't get many laughs. This is why I don't completely agree with the saying if you have to explain that jokes it's not funny because jokes can fly past your head. Jokes can be done in poor taste, or you can take the joke too far. For example, someone said a Black woman who had eight abortions is a crime fighter. Now, this wouldn't bother me if he said single mothers are crime fighters for doing this. 

To be fair you can't teach someone how to be funny? (My editor showed me books that says otherwise.) OK you can do that to a point, but you can't inherit a sense of humor, you have to develop that. Telling a joke means nothing if the delivery is bad because that's what makes or breaks a joke. I don't watch a lot of stand-up comedy because they seem to joke about the same thing as far as their upbringing and what's going on in the world? I'm not saying that's a bad thing however how many times can you laugh at the same joke? You need the element of surprise in order to make jokes work. With that said I do like Dave Chappelle Bill Burr and Kevin Hart. Jim Carry is my favorite comedic actor because every face he makes cracks me up. What annoys me about him is that he tends to overdo the comedy by being over the top. 

Here's an example of what I'm talking about. 

Do you see what I mean? Now if he was dating Einhorn and found out that she's a transgender that would justify him burning the clothes and crying in the shower.  

To the people who don't like rape jokes why are you not vocal and crime shows and movies joking about prison rape? That should bother you because first of all, that's not funny under the circumstance. If they know this is happening to men and women in prison, then why are they not doing a good job at preventing it from happening? Second, if it’s not funny that this happens to women and children then why is it funny when it happens to men? If you're not bothered by people joking about someone poking the bear and getting attacked by it. Then rape jokes about women shouldn't bother you either. They can be funny because women do things to put themselves in that position, for example, has a woman ever led you on and as soon as you make a move, she says stop it? If you don't think people should laugh at rape jokes, then you shouldn't laugh when someone takes an L. 

People shouldn't have problems with dark comedy unless we don't have solutions or ways of coping with bad situations. I would look like a hypocrite if I said I don’t find dark comedy funny, because I did laugh in The dark knight when the Joker killed that guy with a pencil, and when he blow up the hospital. However, it wouldn’t be amusing if people were in the building. Like I said before we need to be careful with what we joke about, if we can’t say certain things to certain people how is this any different? White people would look stupid joking about how messed up Black people are because they played a role in that. If you can't laugh at yourself then you shouldn't laugh at others. 

P.S. here's an example of how to joke about a serious issue. 

My rant about Feminism

My rant about Feminism

Intro: Before I contradict myself, I don’t have a problem with women wanting more out of life than being a wife as long as they pull their own weight. As far as wives working that's fine as long as it doesn't interfere with their other duties like, cooking, caring for the kids and keeping the house clean. Plus, they shouldn't pay more than 25% of the bills. What I say might anger women, but this is an issue and it can’t get fixed if it’s not addressed.  

Despite the problems I have with feminism I'm not against it because of how it helped slavery and expose racism. (If you know the history of feminism you know what I'm talking about. Then again that history is complicated.) One of the things that bugs me about feminism is that it causes confusion. I was playing Halo Reach online and I meet a woman and I asked her are you trying to find a boyfriend? She got mad at me for asking that. I wasn’t being sexes or anything it's just that I rarely meet women or girls that play video games like this, especially mothers that complain that these types of games are making kids violent. 

Women are not seeing things through a man’s perspective, if a man said something that you find sexes don’t you stop and think that we rarely meet women that want to do guy things? For example, I'm surprised that women are joining the Police Force and the Army because I haven’t met a woman so far that didn’t complain about body odor and sweat, that’s what happens when you exercise that’s why I'm surprised. Ladies if a man wants to do things that mostly women would do like throw tea parties, join book clubs and knitting would you ask him is he a homosexual, or wonder if he's a homosexual?  

Another reason why this causes confusion is that I don’t know how to treat women, I mean when I treat women like men they have a problem with it. I didn’t have this issue with tomboys, when I treat them like ladies they're offended by it, ladies make up your minds! Second, there is a big contradiction with feminism. I mean we're suppose to treat women as equals, but we still have to hold the door, give up our parking spot, our seats and not hit her in self-defense is this a joke? Ladies, do you want to be treated as equals are not? As far as men not being able to defend themselves against women that is ridiculous. Do you have any idea of how many men are dying or in abusive relationships because of this nonsense? Parents, how would you feel if your son was murdered by a group of women? Do you think he would still be alive if you didn't feed him this never-hit-a-woman nonsense? 

Ladies, you can’t act like this and expect nothing to happen. 

My point is this if you're not going to carry yourself like a lady, I shouldn't be forced to treat you like one. It’s hard for me to take feminism seriously because society doesn’t take it seriously. I mean if women are serious about equal rights then why aren’t they mad at society for doing the following.

Women not doing the same time for the same crime that a man does.

Women not sharing a jail cell with a man.

Not going to jail for not being able to take care of your kids.

Men can’t hit a woman in self-defense or for saying something they didn’t like.

Not paying men spousal support or getting half of the marital assets.

Not having support groups for men that have been in an abusive relationship, and women lie about being abused when they are the abusers.  

Getting in trouble in the workplace for calling a man cute or handsome.

 Men pay for women on dates.

 Husbands stay home, take care of the kids and keep the house clean.

Women still have custody of their kids even when they abuse or neglect them.

I can go on forever.

People don’t realize that feminism is making things easy for women and hard for men. Here are some scenarios  

A feminist: Don’t forget to raise money for breast cancer.

Me: What about Prostate cancer, I mean men are dying from that.

A feminist: Shut up!

A feminist: Don’t forget to buy your wife or girlfriend jewelry on valentine's day.

Me: What about the men, why don’t you buy us power tools, a PS3 or a flat-screen on valentine's day?

A feminist: Those things are expensive.

Me: So, is jewelry you buy your son these things why not you man?

A feminist: Shut up! 

Do you see what I mean, we're screwed either way. They want equality when it’s convenient for them.

 

 here is another example of contradiction, this never gets old. 

The reason I find this funny is that she set herself up for that. She has paint I mean makeup on, wearing tight clothes and the top of her chest was showing, and she didn’t like his comment. I understand why women have issues with comments like that however the purpose of perfume, makeup and tight or revealing clothes is to attract men. If you didn’t want to attract men then why are you wearing these things? If it was the other way around it wouldn't be a big deal.         

Basically, feminism is turning women into our enemy, I am not kidding they're just like the villain in Lethal Weapon 2 walk around saying diplomatic immunity. That’s what women want the freedom to do whatever they want and have power over men. 

 If women had a National Anthem, it would be this.   
       

They use this to emasculate men I have grievances with that, because you can’t expect anything from a man if you're going to emasculate men. Also, I have seen this in TV shows and movies, watch Everybody Loves Raymond or Black romance or romantic comedy movies and you’ll see what I mean. This is what I don’t like about Beyonce most of her songs are making men look bad like irresistible, If I were a boy and put a ring on it, Plus, those songs and other songs like that won Grammies and we hear those songs on the radio constantly. But when a song does the same thing to women, they're offensive are you kidding me? Women need to stop saying that they can do everything a man can do in high heels because they can’t, if they can why aren’t they doing the following in high heels? 

Building houses, cars, electronic devices, furniture, writing TV shows or movies, inventing the internet, playing sports against men, sharing a jail cell with a man, being firefighters, an Army of women fighting wars and you shouldn't want half in a divorce. No wonder why men are not crazy about getting married. Really, women, have no business joining the Army or Police Force. I don't care how many times you watch G.I. Jane that doesn't change the fact that you are the weakest link. If you get injured on the field men will compromise their safety or the mission to save you, especially if he finds you attractive. If a woman gets captured how long do you think she will last getting tortured, I mean interrogated? How can we trust them with any information when they love to run their mouth?    

The second wave of feminism was problematic that started because fathers picked the men for their daughters to marry and the daughters didn't like who the fathers picked. I can see why society operates like that because women are terrible at picking men, we wouldn't have single mothers if that wasn't the case. The type of man women pick will not just affect their kids but society as well but that's a topic for another time. Also, stop thinking that you can raise kids all on your own what happens to it takes a village to raise a child? There was more to the second wave of feminism but I'm not ready to open that can or worms.    

The bottom line is this the feminist movement is a waste of time because men and women are not the same. You can't expect equality if men have to treat women differently. Society says men are from Mars and women are from Venus, if you're a science person you would know that Mars is more stable than Venus. How can I treat women as equals if their planet doesn’t have the same value as ours, that’s like saying a car that’s been used has the same value as the new one? This movement is also pointless because of all the luxuries and privilege women have. What more do they want? That's all I have to say about this subject for now. 

My rant about how Hollywood treats Black people

My rant about how Hollywood treats Black people

Before I get started, I want to apologize to the other groups of people for not addressing how Hollywood portrays them. I know Hollywood has done this to them as well. However, I should let someone from that group speak on their behalf because I don't know much about other cultures to comment on them.

Hollywood is proof that racism is not dead, because I'm tired of seeing Black people getting mistreated. Here are some examples on the show Gray’s Anatomy Isaiah Washington was fired for calling one of his cast members the F word and he got fired for it after he apologized. So far Bradley Cooper use that word in The Hangover, Jennifer Aniston use that word in Horrible Bosses and Adam Sandler use that word in I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry and they didn’t get in trouble for it. Another example is The Oscars, Denzel Washington didn’t win an Oscar for Malcolm X, Remember the Titans or in the Great Debaters however, he did win an Oscar for playing a dirty cop in Training Day. Also, Halle Barry won an Oscar for playing I don’t know what in Monster’s Ball and Octavia Spencer won an Oscar for playing a maid in The Help, do you see a pattern?                            

  I mean look at how they react to this. How can they be proud of this?

The Oscars might as well give an Oscar to a Black kid for being disrespectful to his or her parents. I'm glad that Hollywood made a movie out of The Hunger Games because of that movie broth out racism or ignorance. This movie was based on a book and fans were mad that a character named Rue for having brown skin even thaw the book describes her having brown skin and eyes on page 45. Then they post twits on Twitter about this, and they use the N-word more than once. Plus, they say things like when I found out that Rue was black her death wasn’t as sad and she should have been blond hair girl with blue eyes. 

The reason why this bothers me is because representation matters. I find it both funny and insulting that we mostly see Caucasians playing the hero or a good leading character considering all the messed-up things they have done to Black people throughout history. Whoever's running Hollywood has a problem with brown or dark skin people playing these roles. I'm surprised that no one complain that Nick Fury is black in The Avengers, despite the fact that he was originally white. We had movies where black people played superheroes like Meteor Man, Steel, Blank Man and Hancock. The issue with those films was the writing and production. Why can’t brown or dark skin writers write about things other than slavery, family drama, crimes and relationship problems, Yes! They are issues in our community but learn a new tune. 

I was surprised that a black person didn’t write or star in The Hangover. The only good movie with an all-black cast that I can think of is Boyz in the Hood, because that movie was about hope not just for Black people but anyone who grew up in a bad environment. Another thing that bothers me is that in Horror films Black people are the first ones to get killed or don’t survive despite the fact that they run from danger. This also happens in films that are not in the horror genre regardless if the movie was good or not with films like Transformers, I am Legend, X-Men First Class, Jurassic Park, Terminator 2 and The Dark Knight. Also, Hollywood stereo cast brown or dark skin people for cheap laughs. 

This is one of the many reasons why I don’t like Tyler Perry, I mean what's so funny about him crossdressing, acting like a fool and shooting people? Since we're on the subject of crossdressing how come we don't see white men doing this? What makes this worse is he gives bad advice and jokes about relationship issues. You can’t have it both ways either you're the voice of reason or juvenile, you act juvenile so you don’t get to say it wrong to do such and such. Then again that's not far from the truth. OK I'm being unfair maybe this is how Hollywood sees Black people if that's the case then we can't be angry with them. I mean I've seen a lot of Black Americans acting up outside my home and on the news. Plus, can you expect someone who isn't Black to represent Black culture? 

Well, if Hollywood isn't racist then why did they stereotype Europe Americans as terrorists or have Americans view them as terrorists? Also, why didn't they cast an Asian man to play the villain in Iron Man 3? The director said that he didn't want the Mandarin in the movie because he didn't want to offend Asians. OK, what made him think that casting someone that isn't Asian is going to make it better, and if you didn't want to offend Asian than why did you pick the Mandarin to be the bad guy? Brown and dark skin celebrities are making this worst by agreeing to play these roles by doing that you're telling the world that you like being viewed as a stereotype. If that's the case then you have no right to be upset when were not respected because you didn't have to take those roles. Samuel L Jackson was in a movie where he was territories a couple because they are an interracial couple and his character’s wife cheated on him with a Caucasian man. Also, in an interview, he was egging the interviewer on to say the N-word. 

This is the interview

Why would he do that? Also, Tasha Smith why are you OK with being portrayed as unlady like, I mean she's like that in ATL and Why did I get married? Another thing, why is it OK to show a Black woman with a Caucasian man but not a Black man with a Caucasian woman? This is another problem in our community, I'm getting tired of brown skin women calling brown skin men sell out for dating outside their race for two reasons. 

First of all, Black women do it too, Black men should go where they feel wanted. Second is President Obama, Black women love President Obama despite the fact he's mixed and was raised by his Caucasian mother and grandmother. They consider him black despite the fact he's mixed, if that’s the case if you paint you house green you should say it blue because it took blue and yellow to create that color. 

It bugs me that they protest against Black men for having a non-Black woman on TV or in real life, why aren’t they protesting the network VH1 or Tyler Perry they're making brown or dark skin women look bad. Disney had made two movies where there's a Black princess with an non-Black prince, Don’t get me wrong I’m not against interracial dating however the downside of it is if were casual with it we'll be extinct. Black consumers have to blame themselves for why Hollywood portray us the way they do. I mean you can't say that the characters in Transformers, The Phantom Menaces. 

 or videos like this offense people and then have them be popular and make a lot of money.

Look I didn't mean to come off as entitled, whoever's running Hollywood should have the right to portray people as they want. However, that has its limits. I mean when you have a certain group in your movie or TV show you have a responsibility to give them good representation. I would rather see no representation of Black people than you not representing them properly. Don't act like slavery, Jim Crow, redlining and blockbusting have nothing to do with why Black Americans are so messed up. We can do something about this like going on strike against Hollywood. Schools and septa went on strike why can we? We deserve better representation, Oscar-worthy roles, survive in Horror films, see both genders dating in or outside their race and write for other genres. If Hollywood won't do that for us, then we have to do it for ourselves. We need to start thinking about our legacy, how many of our Black youth are striving to be Doctors, Lawyers and engineers? Dr. King, Harriet Tubman, Nina Simone, Malcolm X and other famous Black people didn’t fought and die for us to sell our souls for money. 

P.S. don't give me that Hollywood is a money-making business excuse there are films that didn't make a lot of money and still have gotten sequels, like the terminator, the karate kid, RoboCop, Ace Ventura and Friday. What do you have to say about that?