Kids vs Adults

 

Kids vs Adults

I’m sorry if this subject is long, it’s just that there is a lot to say about it.

I don't know about you but I'm tired of hearing people complain about how out of control our youth is because they didn't wake up one day and decide that they'll make life miserable for everyone. Whatever problems you have with them are on you so please stop blaming what they watch, the music they listen to, who they hang around with, what they eat and their medication. I'm not saying those things are not factors however if someone or something has more influence over your kids than you then something is wrong. For example, we have plenty of movies and TV shows that are against racism, discrimination, and bias. Despite that, those things are still issues that we face today. Why are you not mad at Hollywood for not doing a good job of explaining that those things are bad if you're going to be lazy as a parent?     

Another thing parents and society need to stop pointing the finger at each other when kids become a handful because it takes a village to raise a child. Which means everyone is responsible for how kids turn out. Look at how society was in the 1930s or 1940s, if you can look past how server racism was kids conduct themselves more respectfully. Do you think that would happen if both the parents and the community weren't on one accord on how kids should carry themselves? That's no longer the case today because we have different points of view on how we should treat our youth. Plus, parents feel like the village is stepping on their toes and vice versa. I'll get into that later. 

How can I feel sorry for parents for a situation that they created for their kids? For example, we tell kids that they're special and they're just as good as everyone else and then they realize that they're not. You’re not going to get straight A’s just because Billy got straight A’s, you’re not going to be a billionaire just because Donald Trump is a billionaire and you’re not going to invent an iPad just because the late Steve Jobs did. We tell kids it’s wrong to lie, if that's true then why do we lie to them about Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairly? Look I understand why parents do that because it's their way of keeping their kids in line however they better not get upset about the trust issue they created by doing that. If you can lie to them about things that are not real, they're going to wonder what else are you lying to them about? I don't see the point of telling them it's wrong to lie because they will be put in the position to do that regardless of how you feel about it. For example, if you end up in prison and you don't want any issues with the other inmates, you’re going to have to lie to keep yourself safe. 

Here is an example

The guard: Do you know who attack my partner?

Me: No! I didn’t see anything.

The guard: Did your cellmate do it?

Me: No sir he was asleep.   

Also, we put them in a position to lie, if they do something wrong and we tell them to apologize for it, if they're not sincere about it that's lying. If I was a parent, I would tell my kids it's acceptable to lie to get out of a bad situation however it's not OK to do it to avoid the consequences of your actions. Parent's relationship with their kids is also a lie, I mean if the relationship is based on the kids living up to your expectations, then it's not a real relationship. Like I said before we tell kids that there special so they act like they're special, if that’s not true then why can’t people handle their shortcomings without getting angry, crying, and doing things out of aggravation? American Idol is another example of that do you think the contestants wouldn’t be angry and crying that they didn’t win if someone didn't convince them that they could win? That creates a trust issue we can’t tell them that they can sing or do whatever then have someone tell them that they can’t then you say life is not fair and expect them to be OK with that. 

How often do we remind them of that? My cousins asked me why I don’t go to their football games and I told them it's because I’m tired of them getting mad every time they lose, that is what you sign up for when you play the sport. You have two choices you either practice or you quite stop expecting people to make you feel better about your shortcomings. Another reason why I don’t go to my cousin's games is that they don’t keep score because we don’t want to hurt the kid's feelings, so we're going to stop giving D’s and F’s to spare the kid's feelings? Making our kids believe in something that's not true will also hurt them because they will have a hard time reconciling what they believe versus what society tells them. When they can't do that, they will fight against it. We tell kids to stand up for themselves but that's tricky with authority figures like judges, drill instructors, and police. Here's an example of how to set boundaries with them. If your boss wants, you to do something that's not in your job description you can ask for a raise or you quit because what he or she is doing is extortion. Keep that word in mind because will go back to that later.  

I find it insulting that we tell kids that there are no shortcuts in life if that's true then we wouldn't use technology, I mean that makes things easy for us. Also, women wouldn't need hair hats, and men wouldn’t need steroids, or take blue pills. I’m just saying. So yes, I understand why people are acting foolish, they feel like we set them up for failure because we didn’t warn them about how ugly life can get. They also feel like they've been robbed of their childhood because we act worse than the kids, they feel like they have to be the adult because you won't. 

Here are some examples of what I'm talking about.

 

This is the second reason why I was a handful because I haven't seen an adult growing up. Being an adult means you take responsibility for your actions; you have a good temperament and you come to terms with the fact that life is not fair. When it comes to black Friday, fast food restaurants, sporting events, and the justice system the grown-ups have failed to set an example. (To be fair I can understand why being denied justice is problematic however, that's not excluded from life being unfair.) 

We need to stop talking about how much we missed our childhoods because it's hurting our youth. When we do that it doesn't help boost their morale to mature. We make it seem like there's no benefits to being an adult or the responsibilities outweigh the benefits. If the last thing I said is true then that's a problem. That's what people miss not being a kid but not having a lot of responsibilities.   

Some of the other things I mentioned happened to me. You have no idea how stupid I felt when I learned that racism still exists, I mean the teachers had me convinced that Dr. King and Malcolm X fixed this problem. None of my family members talk to me about this as far as I remember and they didn’t warn me about how the world would treat me because of this. I had to figure this out on my own. When I was trying out for sports, I didn’t realize that you had to be good at it beforehand, I mean I thought you just try out then you practice for the sport. No one told me that you would have a better chance if you practiced. That's what bugs me about that situation, I mean if there is a certain level of entry and the coach won't help me then what do I need him for?  

My point is we have to do better with our youth how can we if we can't work together? Parents don't like it when the state or anyone gets involved in how they parent their kids. That's understandable however you can't ask for help and then dictate how things are going to be done. If I was an Algebra teacher and you don't like how I teach my class or how I deal with your kids when they act up in class, you have three options. You either take it up with the school board, you teach your kids Algebra, or you make sure your kids behave themselves in my classroom. Side note this is why I tell people I'm the last person you want to babysit your kids. I mean if you don't want me commenting on your parenting then do expect me to know where they are when they run away from home or cut class. 

Since we're on the subject of school we lied to them about that. I mean one of two things will happen when you graduate high school, the first thing is you will work at a job that will pay 7.15 or 8.00 dollars an hour with no medical, dental, or pension plan. The second thing is going to college where you have to spend years paying thousands of dollars in debt. No wonder kids want to drop out of school because they have nothing to look forward to after they graduate. Parents must be high to think kids want to stay in school because of that. If those options are not good enough for you then why should they be happy about them? If you want kids to stay in school, you need to give them better options. 

Also, how the schools teach kids and deal with bullies needs to change, I mean you can't learn everything from a book. As far as bullying goes if you think bullying only involves name-calling, you're a fool. Heck, I bet you don't know what a swirly is. Unless you want the victims of bullying to continue to shoot up the school's something needs to be done about that. Really, we wouldn't have these problems with our youth if we teach them intelligent disobedience. Intelligent disobedience is helping people make better decisions by not following their orders, this is how dog trainers train blind seeing-eye dogs not to let their owners fall off a cliff. Here's an example of how you can apply this to kids. Let's say they're taking a test and the teacher tells them not to talk during the test. One of the kids sees someone breaking into the teacher's car but the child doesn't say anything. Do you see what I mean?       

Don't take this the wrong way but I think it's funny that society frowns upon child labor but have no issue with extorting them. If you expect them to do things for nothing that's what you're doing. Don't give me that I give them food, clothes and a home. First of all, they didn't ask to be here, second, they didn't agree to do anything you ask in exchange for the things I just mentioned. Finally, that's a giving or should be a giving. Why should they be grateful for having those things? I'm not saying that they shouldn't appreciate you giving them these things however that should be the standard. Kids won't develop properly if they don't have those things. This plays a role in why people commit crimes because most people can't provide food, clothes and shelter for themselves. They wouldn't need to work for someone else and people would live in the wilderness if that was the case. You can't say not giving kids these things is bad parenting and then make them feel guilty for having those things the next minute. 

That's one of the things that bugs me about parents is that they use homeless children to shame their kids for having what you provide for them. I want to ask parents something what are you doing to help kids in poverty? Are you losing any sleep over homeless children? If the answers to both questions are nothing and no, then you have no business talking about them because you don't care about them. Until you help 100 of them you don't have the right to be worried about them. (Really, people who do missionary work should knock you out for doing that.) How are you any different from people who use kids in the sex trafficking ring? 

(My editor looks shocked that I said that.) Yeah, I said it and I'm sticking to it. Beyond telling them that you love them and buying them things what's the difference between you two? You don't have to love someone to provide those things. Speaking of love that's an overrated thing to tell anyone because you can love someone and not trust them, be ashamed of them and not respect their boundaries. If you have these problems, then love means nothing. As I said you don't have to love someone to fulfill the same duties that parents would do. This is why people get confused thinking someone loves them, but they don't. Parents don't think about their kids long term, if you don't have Godparents or guardians for them after you die then that's my point. 

If your argument is that kids suffer from ADHD yeah so what? I mean what's the difference between adults and kids beyond that? Adults need food, shelter, security, love and structure as well. Kids can't keep themselves safe guess what grown-ups can't either without law enforcement. You can manipulate kids with candy and toys, you can manipulate adults with money and safety. Even if kids are suffering from ADHD that's no excuse for how we treat them as far as feeding them fairy tales and getting mad at them when they don't take life seriously. If you don't know how to deal with children who have ADHD send them to someone who does. I can't be annoyed with our youth for acting up because of how we treat them. That's all I have to say about this subject for now.