My rant about suicide

My rant about suicide

Intro: I wanted to cover this subject and others in my rant about morality, but I feel like this should be a separate post. This is not a suicide note or me encouraging people to commit suicide, I’m just giving my thoughts on the subject.

People have misconceptions about suicide, I mean people see it as cowardly, someone being lazy or ungrateful. Just because someone is thinking about ending his or her life doesn't mean that person is suicidal. I see suicide as a way to defend your life, if life is full of disappointments, then who in their right mind wants to endure that? I'm not fond of the idea of anyone having control over my life, but I don't want complete control of it either because I want to be surprised. Don't get me wrong I know hardship and suffering are a part of life however those things are suppose to help you grow as a person not overwhelm you. It can be overwhelming if you don't have a good support system, your physical and mental needs are not being met. Most people especially men won't get that if you're not desirable to others and by desirable I don't just mean looks. When that happens, it will become a problem for everyone else as I explained in my Father's Day rant. 

I find it both funny and insulting that people have bad things to say about those who want to die because if it was up to us, we would want a life free of misery. I say that because we don't know how to deal with the ugly side of life, we wouldn't have vacation time, the path of less resistance, meditation, medication to keep us sane, addictions, therapists and religion if that wasn't the case. Heck, the stress of staying healthy, keeping a job, a car and a house can get to you. That's another reason why I don't want kids if life becomes too much for them to the point, that they want to be euthanized that's on me. If I can't provide a good life for kids or help them through hardship, then I'm doing them a disservice, but I digress. 

I have a love-hate relationship with money because we need it, we let it run our lives. If that's not true let me ask you this, what would you do with your life if you didn't have to worry about money? Money can also cause us to do horrible things, do you really think people would be OK with killing anyone and sex trafficking if there wasn't a lot of money involved? I'm tired of having to earn my right to live because I didn't ask to be here. The only thing we should earn is the luxuries in life. This might not be an issue if we had UBI. (Universal basic income. That can work if everything is automated or our economy is based on consumerism.) What's the point of living if you can't live life the way you want to live it? I'm tired of hearing people say nothing and no one can stop you from doing what you want because that's a bunch of crap. There are factors like your environment, the laws and people that are keeping me or anyone from living how you want to live within reason.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about. Why do I have to wait until I'm fifteen to work, why can't I work when I was five? I mean that when I first start doing choirs if you're old enough to do choirs you should be old enough to work. What's their excuse it's not safe really, it's not safe for almost anyone. Anyone can get mugged, robbed, killed, kidnapped and raped. I'm sorry but that's not good enough. Kids learn how to add and subtract, why can't they work in a grocery store and as a cashier or swipe the floor? If people can use kids as soldiers and sex objects then why can't they work? You can't say you're against child labor and not object to Schools operating like prisons.  

Another example is if someone breaks into my house, I should be allowed to shoot the robber without getting into trouble for not firing a warning shot. The robber didn't warn me that he was going to rob me so why should I fire a warning shot? That's not cold-blooded murder when someone trespass on your property, when that happens you should have the right to deal with that as you see fit. Since we're on the subject of robbing people if someone robs me and the robber threatens to kill me if I tell anyone I was robbed I'll agree to that. 

It's not because he or she threaten to kill me it's because that person didn't kill me. I want to be a man of my word; the robber and I have an agreement. I won't tell on him or her, the robber keeps the money and I live. I can live with that. Really if you tell police that you were robbed, you're making it hard for the next victim. I mean if you tell the police, you were robbed and the robber goes to jail. If that person gets out of jail and robber's people again that person will start killing the victims. It's hard to build a case against someone without victims. 

If I decide to pick up a prostitute, I'm not going to be happy about it, but you can't shame me for it for two reasons. First of all, I respect that they let you know if we're going to do a, b or c you have to pay this amount of money. Second, how is picking up a prostitute any different from dating, who spends the most money on a date? I shouldn't be condemned for wanting to get laid instead of being in a relationship waiting weeks or months hoping to get laid. Like I said before if you have to wait that long she's not into you.   

My point is it's impossible to take responsibility for your life when it's beyond your control. I mean you have no control over anything that happens to you good or bad like being subjected to disease or viruses, someone trying to kill or abducted you, the banks or IRS taking your money, your house getting destroyed by a tornado, etc, etc. We wouldn't comment on those things if that wasn't the case. It's almost difficult to run a business without resorting to micromanaging to avoid scrutiny when something goes wrong under your watch. 

Also, the choices you make in life are a double edge sword for example I can get a job that pays me well enough for me to live in a nice area. If I'm not happy that the job supersedes my life that's on me. If I get a job that doesn't do that but doesn't pay enough for me enough to get the basic things I need, that's on me too. You see I'm screwed if I do, I'm screwed if I don't. If you don't think indirect responsibility should matter just as much as direct responsibility, then the little fish shouldn't face criminal charges. Basically, I don't like being told what to do unless it benefits me. This is why I don't want to be put in a position of authority because A it's a babysitting job and B if I don't like to be told what to do why would I tell other people what to do? 

Also, you either have a huge ego or you're delusional to think you have everyone's best interest in mind. How can you when you don't take the time to get to know your subordinates or if you won't put your interest above there? The Army and sports teams understand this, as far as they know you have a better chance of beating your opponent if you study them. This is why I can't be famous because I'm a private person. I don't mind people taking pictures and interviews but it shouldn't happen every time they see me. If I was a director of a show or movie, I can't create the show or movie I want because studios will try to undermine my ability to do that, there have been so many stories of that happening. 

I'm surprised that men are not committing suicide out of the blue, if they were I would understand. Men are tired of the world treating them like they're disposable. If that's not true then let me ask the men and boys this, has anyone shown interest in your life the way a therapist does? If the answer is no, then I prove my point. Also, have you noticed that people only showed interest in men and boys when they do something wrong? I understand why Black men don't do it it's because we have been mistreated for so long that we've become numb to it and that's a problem. How can we draw the line with how people should treat us when we allow a lot of crap to happen to us? Men are also tired of women making things difficult for them. Let's face it women, in general, don't love men, if that's not true then explain the following. 

Why do women laugh at a man when he cries? 

Why do women make fun of a man if he can't satisfy his wife or girlfriend in bed? Sidenote women look foolish for doing that, like I said before sex has its growing pains. 

Why do women falsely accuse men of rape and abuse? 

Why do women try to keep the kids away from the father? 

If a man has a low opinion of women, the women shame him by saying he can't get laid. Ladies you need to stop saying that because you're making his point valid. 

Men, have you ever seen a group of women break up a fight between two men? 

Why do women laugh when the media portrays men as incompetent and when women are abusive towards men? 

Why do women try to make men broke in a divorce? 

Why do women make it hard for us to get laid? 

Why are women uncomfortable with men being able to defend themselves against women?  

Come on do I need to continue? There are times where I wish I didn't exist, as far as going to sleep and never wake up. I feel this way for two reasons, they are how society treats Black people and not having a father around. Having life, liberty and the purpose of happiness means nothing if your boundaries are not respected. What's the point of having the right to bear arms if we can't exercise that right? I understand what the late Eldridge Cleaver meant when he said I will not be free until I can have a white woman in my bed. I mean he wants the option of getting with other races of women. If we have freedom and racism is dead no one should care about who you date or marry. Plus, White men created this problem, you can't promote the image of White women being the standard of beauty and then complain about other races of men wanting to get with them. 

Also, I'm not a miracles worker but people expect me to work miracles for them. (If you work at a high demanding job, you know what I'm talking about.) If you can perform miracles for others but not for yourself then something is wrong. I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to start from the ground up, they watch and read too many underdog stories. People who are born poor or in the middle class are not going to thrive to do better because they're a custom to the life they have, if someone demands better, he or she will be labeled as spoiled. 

I don't want to die of old age because I'm not looking forward to getting old. No! I don't have Peter Pan syndrome even if I did so what? It's understandable why men have that because we are responsible for building and maintaining society. Due to that, we don't have the luxury of being free or experiencing the luxuries of life until we're 45 or 55. Also, where's the dignity in dying when your body and mind is falling apart? The day I can't go to the bathroom on my own is the day I want to die because I don't want to be a burden on anyone.  

It's hard to have a good attitude about what life throws at me because I don't know if it will make or break me? Spider-Man 2 is a prime example of what I'm talking about. Peter tries to balance being Spider-Man and his life, but he has nothing to show for it. His life was going down the toilet because he tried to do too much. He doesn't have the best support system because he breaks promises to people and his aunt can only do so much. I understand why Peter quit being Spider-Man because he's responsible for his life. I'm not saying putting others before yourself was a mistake however it shouldn't come at the expanse of pushing yourself over the edge. 

There was a time where if I could start my life all over again, I strive to be a well-rounded person as far as being trained and equipped to deal with every situation. That's what you need to survive and be respected. Now it's not worth the effort because that takes too much work to achieve. Also, improving yourself can do more harm than good, that's a topic for another time. If it was up to me, I would live off the grid or on an island. I get annoyed when people tell me to make plans for my life because that's arrogant for reasons I explained earlier. In order for things to work in my favor life has to throw me a bone instead of monkey wrenches. How can anyone expect me to find meaning in my life if society or my so-called family don't value my life? Also doing that goes against people saying life is short and uncertain to have regrets. Were they lying when they said those things?   

Now back to the people that criticize others for committing suicide it's not our place to judge them because we don't know what he or she is going through. If you don’t think being homeless, blind, paralyzed, dying of leukemia, being wrongly convicted of a crime and being born into sex trafficking are not the worse things to happen to anyone then you should have no problem being put in those situations. If you don’t want to know what that’s like then you’re in no position to tell those people that they shouldn’t think about committing suicide. 

Heck dealing with narcissistic people is enough to drive anyone nuts, if it was up to me, I would put them in a Psych Ward, but I digress. Also, if we don't know the person that wants to kill him or herself then that person's actions shouldn't affect us. You know what we shouldn't have a problem with suicide because we allow abortion, women have an abortion because having a baby is inconvenient for them. So why are abortions OK but not suicide? So, we don't need permission to be broth into the world, but we need permission to leave it what's up with that?  

To the people that say that people who commit suicide are selfish stop saying that, stop making it seem like being selfish is bad. At the end of the day, you have to think about yourself because no one else will. Again, why is suicide a selfish act but not abortion? We seem to forget that it's his or her life, if someone doesn't want to live in a world full of war, segregation and hatred that's their choice, he or she shouldn't live just to spare you the pain of losing them. 

Would you rather the person take his or her life than take the lives of others? Just because life is more cruel than it is fair that doesn’t make it easy for us to overcome the cruelty, we wouldn’t try so hard to avoid that if that wasn’t the case. We avoid the hardship of bad health by going to the gym and eating healthy food. We avoid the hardship of being poor by being greedy with our money. We use technology to make things automated, the list goes on. Let me ask you this do you think lazy people should be rewarded? If the answer is no, then that's another reason why you shouldn't frown upon suicide. I mean if you're not willing to stay healthy or work why bother living? What happened to give me liberty or give me death? 

The bottom line is this is your life your choice.