Why so miserable?
Intro: This is a follow-up to my suicide rant. I didn't post this sooner because the answer to this question is not universal. However, I can't talk about suicide without giving my 2 cents on why people are unhappy?
There are four things that I think are keeping people from being happy. First of all, people don't limit themselves to things or places that give them joy. Heck, they don't limit themselves with alcohol; DUIs wouldn't exist if that was the case. For example, I enjoy going to Dave and Busters. The first time I went was in 2005, the second time in 2009, the third time in 2012, and the last time I went was last year. Do you see a pattern? I didn't rush to go back. I wait; if I go there too often, I'll be desensitized by it. The same thing goes for your favorite food; if you eat it too often, you'll be sick of it. I played Crash Bandicoot for the PS1. It was like I was playing it for the first time. I haven't played that game since 2001. Basically, you have to know your limits before the things you enjoy lose their novelty.
Second, have you ever heard of the saying stuck on stupid? People want to be stuck in the past; they don't want to accept or adjust to change. Why do you think people were outraged over Mr. Trump becoming our new President? Do you get upset when things don't work out the way you want them to? Like being stuck in traffic, stuck in the snow, not having enough money to go on vacation, or lose your ability to see? I'm not saying that you don't have a right to throw a fit; however, you shouldn't let those setbacks get the best of you because you can work past or around some of those things. This is what I'm talking about when I say stuck in the past; a predictable future is in the past, you already have it.
People's lack of ability to change can affect others. For example, if your sibling or best friend is accepted to a college or a job that can better his or her life, doing this involves moving away from you, and you're not happy about that. Do you think it's fair to keep him or her from doing better because you don't like it? I heard stories of people becoming successful because they had to leave their loved ones behind. People get too attached to each other, things, and outcomes. That's not the best way to love someone! This is why I'm a loner. If I can't deal with losing anyone right now, I don't deserve to have them in my life. It's not your friends or family's job to give you joy until the day you die; that's your problem.
Side note, that's what cracks me up about people's reaction to 911, I mean, they say they want to go back to the way things were before 911, but they're not willing to make any sacrifices for it. How were things better before 911? Like I said before, the only change I notice (besides the crime rate) is more surveillance. People would be happier if they had a better attitude about a surprise. You have to be ready to let things and people go. No one said life is fair. Look at kids who are dying of leukemia. How do you expect to do better if you don't step out of your comfort zone? Also, the saying variety is the spice of life is problematic, I mean, it's hard to know if you're getting the best options where there are so many options. I can see why living in a small town can be appealing because the selection is limited.
Third, we can make each other miserable. For example, the actor who played Steve Urkel from Family Matters is having a hard time reinventing himself because he played that character for so long to the point where he's fed up. Plus, his fans don't want him to do anything else. Morality can play a role in people's happiness. You shouldn't try so hard to help others, especially if they don't want it. How can you help anyone if you can't help yourself? This is part of the reason why people are rich, because they put themselves first. Doing the right thing can hurt others because the right thing to do is not always the best thing. For example, let's say you witness a crime committed by a drug dealer or mobster, you want to report it, they know you saw it, so they put all the people you know in their crosshairs. The people in your life have every right to be angry with you because you made a decision that affects them without talking to them first, all because you want to do the right thing.
Another example, you're at a grocery store, three guys walk in wanting protection money, and you chase them away. The next week, they burn down the store, and the owner is mad at you because you made things worse by not making sure that they wouldn't do this again. This is what I mean by you shouldn't try to help people. I mean, if you're not going to ride or die with the people you try to help, then you shouldn't do it at all. I'm not telling you to develop a blind eye when you see something wrong, or someone is in a jam; however, you have to pick a choice you battle. Be mindful of the choices you make and ask yourself can you live with the outcome of these choices?
A logical choice is not always the best choice, either. For example, I saw a car crash over a hill, I look and see that a man and a little girl is hanging on a cliff. I saved the man, but I couldn't save the girl, when the media asks me why I didn't save the girl first? My response is that he was easier to reach; it makes no sense to risk getting her and myself killed trying to save her. Of course, the media will demonize me for that without considering that I'm not trained to deal with that kind of situation. Also, what if the girl grows up to become another SJW or feminize was it really worth saving her? People joke about killing Hitler as a baby. I know we have good Samaritan laws; however, that means nothing if they're not enforced. Just like plea deals mean nothing if the judge throws them out.
Authority figures play a role in this, too, by not caring about the middleman and not thinking about the domino effect that they're creating. Remember when I said that hypergamy can help people do better? How can people in power expect to get the best candidates when most people don't have the skills you're looking for or broth up in the best environment? If you think you can get the best out of people with $7.15 or $8.00 an hour, no benefits or 401 K, you're a fool. Look at retail and fast-food jobs, do you think there would be so many videos of the workers fighting if they were paid enough not to act like that? If you have to pay to play, you have to pay your employees enough to make a living. If you want something for nothing, then hire an illegal immigrant. Having bad genes plays a role in your misery because, like I said, that plays a role in what kind of life you can get. If you have bad genes, I'm not saying you should throw yourself a pity party, and I can't promise you that working past that problem will make things better. I'll say this, you owe it to yourself the make the best out of your life.
People trying to figure out why others are sad can cause more harm than good because everyone's needs are different. For example, I heard someone say the reason why people are not happy is because they don't want to be happy. I mean, they don't know how to be happy when bad things happen to them. For example, we have stories of people who are disabled making something of themselves. Plus, they're happy with the life they have. Do you see what I mean? To be fair, I agree with that to a point; however, is it reasonable to expect people to be happy under the worst circumstances?
This goes back to our limitations, not everyone can deal with certain things life throws at us. For example, getting into a fight won't ruin my day, but learning that my mom was mutilated or murdered does. Choosing to be happy will mean nothing if you can't reinforce that choice. If we can handle the ugly side of life, then why does it have a negative effect on us? No offense to disabled people, but watching them become success stories is not that inspirational because A, that's not the norm, and B, we don't know if most people can handle the stress of being handicapped. Do you think we would have the best-functioning society if everyone were deaf and blind? Would you think someone is crazy for trying to blind himself or herself? Why make life harder for you than it already is? My point is, what's the point of life if you can't experience it as much as you can?
The last thing that keeps people from being happy is the rat race. It's a waste of time because not everyone is going to be rich; we won't have a hierarchy if that was the case. Happiness is an internal problem; if you think money can buy you happiness, then what's the difference between you and a junkie? What happened to the song Mo Money Mo Problems? You have to figure out what matters to you; your time or money? I disagree with the saying time is money because it shouldn't take up so much of your time to the point where you don't have a life outside of work. Time is something you can't get back; money, however, you can get money back. This is one of my many grievances with the school system; they take up a lot of time from kids, where they don't unwind.
This plays a role in why romance in the workplace exists. I understand why it's frowned upon; however, things like this happen. When you spend enough time with someone, sexual tension, I mean feelings, will develop, and lines are blurred. I don't think it's fair that companies would fire employees for a situation that they created. If you're going to be romantically involved with someone at work, be discreet about it. Also, if it were up to me, I would have a policy that says if you're romantically involved with a coworker, you have to let HR know, and both parties will be put on probation. (Also be discreet about it.) When you don't have time for anything else, you could run the risk of putting all your eggs in one basket instead of figuring out other ways to get income.
This is why I work part-time, because doing this can give me an idea of where I stand with the company. I mean, if my boss wants me to work more hours, I'm in a good place. People think I'm lazy because I don't want to work full-time, but that's not the case; it's just that I want to work on other things, like improving myself. Also, I want balance in my life how can I have that if my job takes up most of my time? If you don't feel sorry for me not making enough money, why should I feel bad that you're married to your job? (It's bad enough that I'm married to my phone.)
The bottom line is this life doesn't guarantee happiness, and we don't know how to be contempt with what we have now. I'm not saying you shouldn't better yourselves; however, where does the line draw? I'm surprised that a lot of people are not asking how much money do you need to live? You get one life, why waste it on being miserable or making other people miserable?
