I walk alone
In this post, I will talk about my relationship with relatives and people in general.
I don’t like talking to people in general. I’m not anti-social; it’s just annoying talking to people. I mean, people seem to be one-sided or closed-minded, which makes it hard for me to have a conversation with anyone. Religion's people, feminists, dating coaches and politicians can be narrow-minded. I'll give you a few examples of what I’m talking about when we found out that the late Bin Laden was killed or murdered. People looked at me like I’m crazy when I said that I wasn’t happy to hear. Why should I be happy about the death of a man that I don’t know and has done nothing to me personally? Even if he did, his death won't fix anything. The damage is done. sidenote, I get annoyed when anyone asks me how I would feel if this or that happened to you or someone you know? That question is disingenuous. Also, we don’t know why he's done the things he did because we weren't there. He could have done these things to make a social change. If you want things to change, people have to suffer in the process, unfortunately.
I want to ask women something; would you be outraged if your brother, father, husband or son were murdered by a group of women? If the answer is yes, then you and society shouldn't have any issue with men hitting women in self-defence for that reason alone. If feminists believe in equality, then this shouldn't bother them. If it does, then that tells me that you don't know how to conduct yourself around men. If that's the case, then you need to go back to Sesame Street.
I’m embarrassed to be associated with geeks because they act crazy when anyone badmouths their favorite franchise or ruins it. Don’t take my word for it; look at Star Wars fans. They accuse Mr Lucas of raping their childhood because of how bad the prequels are to them. Do you see what I mean? Using that word in that context makes you look entitled and insensitive to people who experience that ordeal. If you think bad movies are as bad as being molested by your parents, then I don't want to be around you. People are one-sided when it comes to morality because they think it's universal, but it's not due to people's ethics and status.
The reason why religious people are difficult to talk to is that they can come off as arrogant. As far as being so sure of themselves because of what GOD or the Bible says. Because of that, they can be disingenuous about their views on anything because their views are based on GOD and the Bible. Who wants to be around someone who doesn't think they're wrong? We were wrong about how dinosaurs use to look in the past compared to now, and Pluto is no longer considered a planet. You don't think it's possible that you could have misinterpreted the Bible?
For example, a lot of people think an eye for an eye means revenge; what that scripture means is the punishment should fit the crime. Do you see how easy it is to misinterpret something? Also, they can be narrow-minded when it comes to what's in the Bible, for example, the Bible says don't provoke your kids to wrath. That scripture doesn't just apply to kids; it applies to anyone who has authority over people. They shouldn't be acting like they're so certain about things because they don't know the details of GOD's plan.
Also, making a valid point about a topic isn't enough to have people agree with it, because some people are stubborn. For example, I understand why people think men and women can't be friends because of sex; however, it's kind of disingenuous. Let me put it like this, would you look at a couple funny when you learn that they are in-laws? If the answer is yes, then that's my point. So, you're expected to not be involved with anyone else when you're married, not look at your in-laws sexually, not get romantically involved with your co-worker, but being friends with the opposite sex is out of the question. You see, the math doesn't add up.
I’m tired of people not being honest with themselves. You hear people say I would never do this or that how would you know if you haven’t been put in that position? Just because people will do something that you frown upon, that doesn't mean you're above doing it. For example, on the show Fear Factor, you have to eat random things to win money. I wouldn’t do that because I don’t know how my body would react to what I eat, I could get sick, have an allergic reaction or die. It’s not worth the risk.
Here's another example; whenever someone complains about someone being too negative, I find that disingenuous. There is a negative state to everything in life, and we do things to offset it. Here are some examples; when you don't take care of your body, it starts to stink, you're in pain and have health problems. If you don't take care of your house, it falls apart. If we are not on one accord with the rules, we will have chaos. If you provoke the wrong person, he or she will take it out on you, someone you know or others. If you provoke another country, we will have war. What do you mean, you can be too negative? People who are disabled should be insulted that people are inspired by them to make something of themselves despite their setbacks, because they don't want to walk a mile in their shoes. If that's not true, then spend a year of your life as blind, deaf and doing things without arms or legs.
Remember the scene from Spider-Man 3 that everyone loves to make fun of? If you don't care what people think of you, then you should have no problem reenacting that scene in public. I mean, the worst things that could happen to you is people will make fun of you. Well, you can argue that people are inherently hypocritical, but you should still own up to it. Also, where do you draw the line when it comes to hypocrisy? People need to learn how to argue. The purpose of an argument is to reach an understanding, not to berate someone for their point of view on things. I don't understand how people can be jealous of each other. It's a childish emotion. Now, if you're addicted to attention or someone screwed you over to be successful, I would understand why you would be jealous.
This is why it's hard for me to feel sorry for those who are going through a hard time. Let's say I met a boy who lost his sight. How can I show him compassion if I'm not willing to give up my ability to see to make him feel better? It's easy to feel bad for someone if you're not going to put your money where your mouth is. This is one of the reasons why people, in general, don't get along because we don't relate to each other. Yes! We can understand someone's pain; however, that's not enough. For example, you know getting shot is painful; however, you can't relate to how the pain affects that person because you're not the victim. Even if you have experience with getting shot, you still don't know.
It's hard for me to be around White people because there is one thing that they do that drives me nuts, and that is complaining about unfairness. Whenever they do that, I roll on the floor laughing because they don't care about that. If they did, they would have made amends for all the messed-up things they have done to Black people. Don't you dare say you weren't there when it happened unless you're homeless or broke; you're reaping the benefits of slavery. Until White people are ready and willing to be enslaved, I mean, serve Black people for thousands of years, they have no business talking about unfairness.
To the people who don't care about life being unfair, let me ask you this. If someone put a bounty on you and the police won't protect you, would you be upset? If you get injured or have cancer, would you be outraged that the Doctors won't treat you? If the answer to both questions is yes, then stop acting like you don't care about life being unfair. Just because life isn't fair, that doesn't mean we should enable it.
I have nothing against the LGBT community; however, I don't like it when they act like everyone is suppose to welcome them with open arms. There was a news report of a same-sex couple who got a baker arrested for not baking them a wedding cake, the nerve. They do and say things where they're asking for trouble, like comparing themselves to Black people. Doing that is disingenuous because A they're not doing anything to make Black people's lives better, and B we can't tell if you're fruity unless you carry yourself a certain way. If you can't deal with the stigma of coming out of the closet, then keep it on the down low or go to New Orleans.
I'm annoyed that men get into fights because doing that makes them look like cowards. For example, when someone is rude or disrespectful to you, you're ready to fight. I'm not saying you shouldn't respond in that manner; however, that response doesn't make you look sincere. Nine times out of ten, we don't fight someone unless we think we can win. Don't believe me, let me ask you this. How often do you fight someone twice your size? A better question is how often due men fight each other at the Gym? Would you file a lawsuit against a major company? I know that's not the same thing, but the principle still applies.
That's the problem we have, egos about who we allow to mistreat us or beat us up. If that's not true, then how often do you fight your boss or law enforcement for acting out of line with you? You mean to tell me that you would be ashamed and embarrassed to lose a fight to a woman, but you won't feel the same way about losing a fight to a man who's fruity or smaller than you? My point is that fighting someone that you know you can beat is not impressive or respectable. Besides, would you feel terrible to learn that the reason why this person is provoking you is that he lost a family member, and you beat him up for it? At the end of the day, you're responsible for how you respond to situations. Showing someone compassion is easy when you're in a good mood. If picking a fight you can win is what masculinity is about, then who needs courage?
That's another thing that bugs me about people; in general, they think their experience is a universal truth. If it works for me, then it should work for you. In order to be successful in life, you need good genes and to be raised in a good environment. Everyone doesn't have those things, and it's an uphill battle to make something of yourself without them. That's my issue with dating coaches when they tell men they have no game, because most men don't have game. If that weren't the case, bars and nightclubs wouldn't exist. I mean, why do we need them to get laid if game is enough?
Another thing that people do that frustrates me is projecting their fear onto me. I mean, they do that when they say be careful, don't do this or that. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate their concern; however, it doesn't make it less aggravating. Suffering is a part of life, unfortunately, and you'll have a hard time finding someone who doesn't have regrets. Just because you went through a bad experience doesn't mean you can't gain something from it. Sidenote, I was jaw-dropped to hear how people talk to each other online, play Call of Duty or any of the Halo games online and be bad at it, and you’ll see what I mean.
Also, I can be standoffish with people at work and with strangers. Because of that, they assume I'm rude, but I'm not. I'm just not interested in insane small talk, and I don't see the point in faking meaningless pleasantries with strangers for no reason. I'm not rude or unkind to people. I wouldn't be mean to anyone for no reason. I just don't nod at everyone I pass in the hallway like a bubblehead, and I see no reason to discuss the weather or ask how people are doing just for the sake of making noise. They're just going to say some meaningless crap anyway. ("Oh, I can't wait for Friday" etc. Boring!) What bothers me the most about those who get offended by this is the entitlement factor. Like I'm obligated to smile and talk about nonsense, especially when it's not reciprocated. If I don't, then I'm rude or think I'm too good for people, etc. Another reason why people view me that way is because I say harsh things to people. I say those things to get through to them, not because I'm looking for a fight.
In case you didn't figure it out, I'm a pariah in my family because I'm not a family person; I'm the type of person who loves from a distance. Part of the reason why is because to me, family is a title and titles are earned. What's the point of a family if we alienate each other? I disagree with the saying you can't choose your family because there's a difference between family and being related. I'm not close to relatives who are older than me for the same reason why I'm not close to authority figures, I mean do you get sick of being around someone who knows it all? How can I have any relationship with them if I can't relate to them because of the age gap between us? How can I talk to them about the '50s or '60s if I don't know or experience what things were like in those times?
That's another thing, elderly people are not above losing people's respect or being stupid. I will say this to them; if you haven't done anything that benefits the youth today, you don't get to complain about their lack of respect because you haven't done anything to earn that. If you did, what are you doing to preserve it? Just because I don't listen to them, it's not about me knowing better; it's about perspective. How can you say you want me to do better if we have the same views about everything? Really, what have your parents told you that you couldn't figure out on your own as you get older? Also, passing down wisdom means nothing if the youth don't know how to use it to make their life better and if they don't trust you. For example, if you didn't have technology growing up, why would they listen to you if you don't know how to use it or how it's impacting people's lives or our culture?
This is why I didn't take history class seriously, because for the most part, history is about people who make the same mistakes over and over and over again. Don't believe me? Then explain to me why we have so many wars? How many of them started because of colonialism? How can Black people prevent being enslaved if they don't exercise their Second Amendment rights? (To be fair, when we do, Law Enforcement have a problem with it.) Sidenote; no one should be offended by being called stupid because history has proven otherwise. This reinforces why I don't want kids because I'm doing them a disserves by giving them knowledge instead of letting them figure things out on their own. I know I'm responsible for them until they turn eighteen; however, that doesn't change the fact that this could lead to other problems.
The only time they see me is at funerals. I don't like going to funerals, not because it's sad, it's because it's a waste of time. What's the point of me being there if I can't help ease people's pain? I shouldn't feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I notice that loved ones don't talk about whether or not the deceased was happy when he or she was alive. Why do we show respect for someone when they're dead? That tells me you didn't love him or her at all. What does rest in peace mean?
This is why I prefer a surrogate family, because I believe you have to earn things in life; how is love any different? I mean, we can do things to each other that cause us not to want anything to do with each other. Love means nothing to me if you don't trust me, respect my boundaries, and you're ashamed of me. I find it refreshing to know that someone who isn't related to me cares about me. It doesn't mean as much to me coming from relatives because there's nothing they wouldn't do to put a smile on your face. (Well, almost nothing) It's a nature vs nurture thing with me.
As far as a romantic relationship goes, there are times where I wish I was asexual for three reasons.
First of all, what's the point of being attracted to women when they act like this when you approach them?
I'm not just talking about women who looks like they belong on Sports Illustrated, I'm talking about overweight women as well. I was turned down by them; if that's not a blow to your self-esteem, I don't know what is.
Of course, I didn't go to the prom; if I did, this would be my prom date.
Not only that, women love to give us blue balls. We can't ask women for sex directly because they find it offensive. (Well, that depends on who you are.) Prostitution is illegal, even if it wasn't, they make us pay a ridiculous amount of money for sex. When we're in a relationship, you don't know when you're going to have sex, plus you're jumping through hoops. Heck, they don't want to indulge us in foreplay. This is one of the reasons why you're a victim of infidelity, because they're asking for trouble when they do this, but I digress. Side note, there are things that I'm not willing to try when it comes to sex. I'm going to leave it at that. I wanna ask women something, do you wait for a job to fall on your lap? If the answer is no, then why is your love life excluded from that? I mean, if you see men that you're drawn to, why don't you approach them once in a while? Speaking of approaching, it's hard to talk to them when they are on the phone all the time, and they speak a different language.
Also, you can't fully experience sex without running the risk of getting women pregnant. If you are not willing to pay that price, then you should engage in that activity. Second, birth control has side effects on women. Whether or not those effects are server, it's not fair to put women through that just to get my rocks off. Finally, men and women are not compatible enough to be monogamous because both parties are too different to the point where they want different things out of relationships or life. Women want marriage and to start a family. Men are not crazy about those things because A they want to have as much fun as they can and B they don't love kids the way women do. Why do you think men don't talk about how much they enjoy being fathers? Another thing I don't equate marriage with love, and it's hard to find someone who feels the same way.
What's marriage going to do for your relationship that hasn't been done before? (Unless you're religious) It's hard to find a woman who enjoys doing guy things, and it's hard to find a man who wants to do women things. (If you do find a man like that, other men will bust his balls for doing those things.) If both parties don't want the same thing out of the relationship, then it's not going to work. Also, it's hard to have a relationship with anyone without money being a factor. Plus, women treat men like illegal immigrants, as far as they expect so much from us, but they give us so little in return. Don't worry I'll talk about that another time.
These are the reasons why I'm a lone wolf. Granted! I have rubbed people the wrong way; however, it doesn't matter if I did those things or not. People will despise you regardless of who you are or what you've done. I'm not saying ruffling feathers is OK; however, that comes with the growing pains of getting to know someone. I know you have to earn people's respect; however, that doesn't work if you don't throw them a bone. Plus, I don't see the point of cleaning up my act for people who didn't want anything to do with me from day one. If doing that won't make up for the bad impression I gave you, then what's the point?
That's another thing people need to be more forgiving, because no one is above seeking forgiveness. There are plenty of things that get us upset, like playing loud music in the middle of the night, eating your leftovers, being stuck in traffic, someone cutting you in line, someone making fun of your culture or religion, being sucker punched, the list goes on. I can understand why being forgiven is hard for some people because, for the most part, people are not sorry for what they did; they're sorry that they got caught. How many times do you hear people admit that they broke the law because they thought they could get away with it?
Some things are considered unforgivable, like murder, rape, posting naked pictures of yourself online, giving your bank account number to strangers and accusing you of a crime you didn't commit. Forgiveness is not about second chances or letting people think what they did was OK; it's about moving on with your life. How can you do that if you won't let go of the anger you have toward anyone who wronged you? When you do give someone a second chance, you gave up the right to bring up what he or she did in the past. How can we have world peace if we can't find peace within ourselves?
We live in a society that disregards men's well-being. Society treating men like this plays a role in them committing suicide, but that's a topic for another time. If being alone will drive you crazy, then I would rather lose my mind being alone than be around people who won't keep me honest. Just because you don't have the family or peers that you want doesn't mean you have to accept the ones you have.
