Monday, September 2, 2013

My spoiler review of Iron Man 3

My spoiler review of Iron Man 3 


Intro: I don’t enjoy doing this, I mean I don’t enjoy dissecting the plot of movies. After everything that's happened in the past few years like 911, the hurricanes, tornado's, earthquakes and mass shootings I want to see good films. I don’t enjoy wasting my time and money on movies that I thought is going to be good, if I wanted to do that I would put my money in a shredder or watch reruns of Save by the bell. (I was going to say watch Maury or a drunken prom date but those would have been obvious.) This movie was under a lot of pressure, not because it was the third movie but because it was a follow up to The Avengers. However this movie was just like the other third movies a waste of potential why am I not surprised? I’m starting to wonder do Studios have script meetings anymore?
If they do this is what needs to happened in those meets.

That’s what needs to happen either were not pushing these writers or they're doing this on purpose. I’m mad that they had that writer’s strike back in 2007; I mean if these are the writers we have let them go. Most of the third movies they wrote aren’t good and they have the nerve to go on strike. You know what I’m not going to blame Hollywood for this, because I refuse to believe that no one in Hollywood has a brain. I’m blaming you the people for this. This is the third movie the third we all know that third movies are usually bad but we still waste our time and money to watch them anyway. Hollywood cares about making money, if that's not true then why did they make sequels to the following films and these films didn’t make a lot of money.
 The Terminator
Ace Ventura  
The Karate kid
Atlas Shrugged
Kick Ax
I heard Chronicles is getting a sequel
We need to stop giving Hollywood mix signals we can’t say that the Star Wars prequels are bad and offensives and then have those movies make a lot of money. We made these movies a hit, we defend these films and we won’t admit that they are bad, that’s how Hollywood gets away with this. Now back to the subject at hand, let’s start with what really bother me and a lot of Iron Man fans about this movie.

No 1 Trevor Slattery: We never saw this coming. That’s right The Mandarin is not in this movie. If you're going to make excuses for the Mandarin twist I don’t want to hear it. You would be outraged too if you watched the dark knight and you found out that the Joker is not the main villain, in fact he's Ronald McDonald. The joker was created by the league of shadows. So shut up with your excuses. 

Also the twist would have worked in the contexts of the film if the real main villain’s motivations weren’t weak but I'll get into that later. I’m sorry I’m not trying to sound like an Iron Man fanboy. If I wasn’t familiar with Iron Man I would still be outrage by this. I mean they advertise the Mandarin as the main villain, the previous two films set him up and they got Ben Kingsley to play him. Why? Why is he in this movie, why is he face on the cover, why did he get top billing his character doesn’t do anything. We see him four times we find out that he's not the main villain then the movie forgets him, so why get a well known actor to play a role that could have been passed as a cameo? Heck why not get Maggie Grace to play her character? 

Ben Kingsley is too good for this film, it’s like staring him, Clinteast Wood, Morgan Freeman and Denzel Washington in one of the Scary Movies. They might as well advertise this movie by having him and Tony playing patty cake. I wish the Mandarin is like his comic book counterpart, the movie would have been better if they did that. Then again I remember Mr. Favreau saying that he wants Iron Man to deal with earth based threats, I don’t get it he deals with gods and aliens why not take that further? What happened to his lessons, I mean in the movie he said only two lesson remind how many where there to begin with? Also what happened to lesson number one heroes there are no such thing?  

P.S the Mandarin looks like a well known terrorist, I’m not going to say who he is because we all know who I’m talking about. Also what did Marvel Studios mean by the Mandarin is too ambitious for the first film? What happened to his cool lines like today is the first day of was left of your life; do you want an empty life or a meaningful death?    

No 2 Tony Stark/ Iron Man: This character has two arcs in the film, the arcs are him dealing with the aftermath of The Avengers and does the suit makes him Iron Man or the man inside? The second arc or what’s left of it was ruined because we learned in the last act that he has more suits, so why did he got thought the second act of the film like he has no more suits? 

Why didn’t he use his suits to protect his Mansion, speaking of that what was he thinking giving who we thought was the Mandarin his address? I laugh when his Mansion got destroyed because that was stupid, then again he's a well known figure in this movie's world. As far as his Anxiety attacks goes they should have made it a PDST, in The Avengers Tony was a soldier in that movie and he almost died. His coping mechanism is building these suits. He had four Anxiety attacks in the film; he wouldn’t have had the last two if it wasn’t for the kid. Speaking of the kid if I was tony I would give him a stunner, because Tony told him that he has Anxiety problems and talking about New York makes him edgy but the kid keeps bring up New York. Towers the end of the film Tony blows up his suits and removed his ARC reactor from his chest what’s going on here?
Why was that thing Tony said to Bruce in The Avenger?

Yeah so why would he remove the ARC reactor if it’s a part of you, you might as well cut off your writing hand and says I don’t need it.
I’m surprised that Bruce didn’t do this to Tony in the after credits scene, I mean did tony mean anything he said to Bruce?

 Also Tony narrate in the film that he can sleep better now that the ARC reactor is removed, I thought the Anxiety attacks was keeping him up. So is Tony done being Iron Man or what, this would make sense if they're setting him up to be the new director of S.H.E.I.L.D. Yes! In the comics Tony was the new director of S.H.E.I.L.D. P.S. I was hoping the movie would have him deal with The avengers aftermath buy having him drinking, I mean it would make up for the writers shoe horning the Demon in the bottle story in the previous film. Also the Anxiety attacks subplot wasn't resolved. Plus Tony what happened to I'm a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist without the suit?   

No 3 the Mark 42: This is the worst suit that Tony build! I mean the other suits are powered by his ARC reactor from his chest this one has to be charged. Also it was a prototype none of the weapons work, is this the rescue armor? How can he operate some parts of the suit without the helmet? 

What makes this suit different from the other ones is that it can be summed from a far distance, that created too many convinces for him. Also we learned in the beginning of the film that Mark 42 is operated by Tony’s head set, how was he able to control all the other Mark suits? What's powering these suits, like I said his earlier suits are powered by his ARC reactor from his chest so how is this better? 

P.S. towers the end of the film when the rest of the Mark suits showed up and Road head said suit me up, then Tony says sorry there only compatible to me. OK if that’s true then how were you able to protect Pepper by putting the Mark 42 suit on her, was that suit an exemption? Also why would he use the Mark 42 without knowing if his weapons work? 

No 4 Extremis: I don't think it was a good idea to do the Mandarin and The Extremis story, just like X-Men the last Stand tried to do the dark Phoenix saga and the cure story and look how that turn out. I wish the movie explain how extremis works, I mean the movie explain that it’s an experimental regenerative treatment intended to allow recovery from crippling injuries. 

In this movie it’s unstable and it’s turning people into the Human Torch how does that work? The writers could have worked this in the story; I mean the Maya Hansen character needed Tony to stabilize it. Tony’s arc is him coping with what he leaks with the other avengers it would make sense for him to take a virus that can give him powers. In the comics the Extremis virus got on tony’s suit and it upgrade his suit. Then again Hawkeye and black widow don’t have powers so yes the movie didn’t need the Extremis story. 

P.S. I wish this story was used in the previous film I will get into that later.   

No 5 Col. James Rhodes/ Iron Patriot: The explanation to why he's called Iron Patriot is non sense War Machine is too aggressive are you kidding me? I wouldn’t mine this if Road head’s explanation to why he is called Iron Patriot is because he’s a fan of Captain American and he has a collection of his comics, I would buy that explanation. This character shouldn’t be in these films unless he's going to be in The Avengers movies. Let’s back track to what he has done in these films.
Iron Man He looked for Tony when he was captured and covered his track when he was Iron Man.
Iron Man 2 He stole one of the mark suits, fought Tony, he was held captured in the suit and he fought with Tony.
In this movie he's looking for the Mandarin, then he got captured the main villain took his suit and he got his suit back and take the President to safety.
Really he couldn’t help Tony fight the main villain? So yeah he shouldn't be in this movie. 

P.S. how does his suit work, I mean one of the villain’s henchmen was able to fly it and when the President is in the suit and tied up he can’t do anything.

No 6 Harley: This kid being in this movie really shouldn't bothered me because he was barely in the movie but he does, because he's just in this movie to give kids someone to relate to and to make this film easier to market to kids. That’s the only reason he's in this film, this has been a problem that plagued Hollywood in the 90’s. 

When is Hollywood going to learn that kids don’t want to be the kid characters in the movie, you want to know how I know this? I know this because I want to be the hero when I was a kid and so did my friends at that time. This is why those kids were in those action films in the 90’s, this is why Robin, Speedy and Bucky were created in the comics. I can’t believe that they did this with Power Rangers for goodness sink. 

No 7 Aldrich Killian: He's the real villain in this movie and a lame one. The reason why he 's the villain is because Tony stood him up 14 years ago, that’s it that’s his motivation!?! Why is he doing this, what does he have to gain and what does he want? He comes off as a generic villain; I mean he is making trouble in the movie because his the villain and his evil ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha screw you I’m not buying it. 

I can’t take this character seriously, because when he reveals himself as the Mandarin it was done for laughs. Also there was a scene where he got Road head out of the Iron Patriot suit by putting his hand on the belly part of the suit and says things like is it hot in there, are you ready to come out, does you tummy hurt? He has the same powers as his men, OK how is he separating himself from his man if they all can do the same thing? The only thing he can do but his men can’t do is breath fire. What’s with the dragon tattoos is that a Fin fang foom reference? 

OK he told Tony that he wasn’t mad at him for what he did 14 years ago and that he give him desperation which made him become the villain and came up with the idea behind the Mandarin. So he thanks him by putting Pepper in danger, OK is he doing this to help Tony or blackmail him? If he's trying to help Tony what does Tony have to gain from this? This movie establishes that Killian and pepper had history together but that went nowhere. 

I like the idea behind the mandarin however I would prefer it to be the other way around. This character reminds me of the Edward Nigma/ the Riddler from Batman Forever. In that movie Edward wants revenge on Bruce for not investing in his idea, here it’s the same thing. However it made more sense here than in Batman Forever, because Edward became famous in that movie and Bruce wasn’t a jerk to him. This movie hurts the first film because Aldrich Killian set up the ten rings group as a distraction so he can hold the war on terror at his hands. This is the same group that kidnapped Tony in the first film, so he became Iron man because he stood Aldrich Killian up great just great. I’m tired of this trend with third movies, the trend of trying to connect with the first film all it does is hurt the first film. They have done this with films like Spider-Man 3 and the dark knight rises. 

P.S. Killian revealing himself as the Mandarin is a lame version of Henri ducard revealing himself as Ra’s al ghul in Batman Begins. I refuse to believe that this is the same ten rings group that kidnapped tony.

No 8 Pepper Potts: What's Pepper’s role in this movie, I mean it looks like she is CEO of Stark Industries I thought she resigned in the previous film. Pepper was also annoying in this movie, I mean she complains about Tony building suits, didn’t she complain about this in the first film? Word to the wise if you're in a relationship with someone and they do something that you don’t like either you deal with it or move on to someone else, don’t try and change the person or give that person an ultimatum. 

Pepper shouldn’t be complaining about that for two reasons first of all that thing you're doing living is because of him, I mean he threw his suit on you instead of himself. Second you wouldn’t have been able to beat Aldrich Killian without his tech, that’s right this is the second movie where she saved Tony thanks for making him look like a punk Marvel Studios. Also she's the reason why Tony blow up his suits you know what screw Pepper Potts, she's the real villain in this movie. Why would Tony help her get rid of the extremis virus, I mean she has powers now why not make her a part of the avengers? 

P.S. I’m surprised that Pepper didn’t try to kill Tony, I mean he talks about keeping her safe and he put her in danger.                

Epilogue: I also want to talk about the Maya Hansen character. Just like road head this character didn’t serve much of a purpose, I mean we don’t spend enough time with her to know her. We get a flashback of her and Tony at a New Years Eve party and she created Extremis. Then we see her again trying to warn Tony about the Mandarin, after that we learn that she's working for Killian. Tony talks to her like we are suppose to know her like he talks about what a great person she was, like I said we don’t know her enough to see that. 

I like how much detective work Tony Stark does in this movie, I hope to see more of this in the future Batman films if WB are planning on making them. The theme of creating your own demons would have worked if Killian had an actually motivation, you know what holding a grudge for 14 years is something a woman would do.
The female viewers: Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.
Boo nothing women are emotional men are logically, that’s what makes men different from women and don’t forget it. You can tell Shane Black directed this movie because this film has a Christmas theme to it just like his other films, which was kind of annoying because that served no purpose in the movie. The way this movie ended made me question are they making The Avengers 2, I mean this movie feels like its rapping things up also S.H.I.E.L.D wasn’t in this movie. Why wasn’t S.H.I.E.L.D in this movie, Aldrich Killian use the Mandarin as a front man to be an international terrorist and S.H.I.E.L.D is nowhere to be found? 

I understand if they don’t want Captain American in this movie however you could have wrote him out by having this film take place the same time as Winter Solider, it wouldn’t hurt to have Black Widow or Hawkeye in this movie to help. Like I said this movie would have been better if the Mandarin is like his comic book counterpart, this is a character that can mop the floor with Tony/ Iron Man. The Mandarin is just a smart as Tony and he's richer and stronger then Tony. This movie should have the Mandarin beat Tony/ Iron man financially, physically and emotionally, and he destroy his suits, then Tony tries to beat the Mandarin by out smarting him. I don’t see how they can make more Iron Man films because of how this movie ended; they could have if they saved Aldrich Killian for the second film and not use Whiplash or Justin Hammer. 

Iron Man 2 was coming off The Incredible Hulk the Army tried to bring back the super solider serum and that didn’t work, so the Army goes to Killian they uses the Extremis virus to created bio weapons. This would make the Hulk movie more relevant and would give Tony something that he can't comprehend. Each movie would have a different theme like the first film is technology vs. technology, the second film could have been bio weapons vs. technology and the third could have been alien tech vs. human tech, if they want to make more Iron Man films they can use Whiplash or Hammer. If Thor the dark world is going to be like this movie as far as tone I’m not going to watch The Avengers 2 this time I mean it. 

P.S. we saw a character that was in the first film which create a continuity flaw, I mean he said in the first film that he and Tony met at a press conference and he was drunk.

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